Pre Vipassana Meditation in India

During my meditation the hands grip tighter around my neck and I struggle to swallow. The throat crushing force has held me now for four straight days, and I am beginning to wonder when it will finally either suffocate or release me. As I am slowly strangled, my mind has been let loose like a runaway tribe of wild horses tasting freedom for the first time. They stampede any attempt to rein them in, and leave me and those invisible hands face down in the mud as they roam the great plains of the inner most folds of my mind, trampling over anything positive and stirring up every possible doubt and fear imaginable.

Deep within I cry out, but no sound leaves my lips as my mouth has been glued shut from the inside. My body wants to kick and fight, but my energy has been held hostage by .. who? Me? Realizing that I am the cause of my suffering does not loosen the grip of the hands, does not calm the crazed horses, does not unstick the super glue.

Just yesterday I begged the universe to cut me some slack.. to help me return to the bubbly, entertained, laughing little girl I once remember hanging around, but cannot seem to find anywhere. It appears that she has also been trampled and left buried deep in the mud.

Tomorrow I will be sitting in silence as I attend a 10 day Vipassana Meditation Retreat. No books, no internet, no smoking, no disco balls, and no dancing girls. Just me and my shadows, the invisible hands, and those crazy horses. Interesting timing I think as I watch the full moon from the open train doors during the journey to the Dhamma Center in Punjab.

I am curious what secrets will be revealed to me, and if I will leave with some new insight. Before deciding on this meditation, I attended a Satsang with Sri Mooji in Rishikesh, India, and just a couple of days ago, a friend (Toby at who also attended this meeting in truth with me, sent me a link to Mooji’s post satsang video which proved to be very interesting indeed. He speaks of the mind being in full sabotage mode (exactly what I have been experiencing) and explains that this is not a sign that you are on the wrong path, no, it is a sign that you are on the right path. To watch Moojis video, please just scroll down and you can view it there.

Thoughts can be very mischievous I am noticing. They definitely do love to sabotage efforts of balance and peace, and the ego loves to fight for control. Let’s see if I can weaken the powerful grip the ego has on me, and leave (and live) a little bit lighter and brighter…

Have you ever experienced a seemingly hi-jacked mind? In what ways did you explore to find the truth and to see through the shadows? I would love to hear about your experiences if you care to share them in the comments section below!


Satsang with Sri Mooji

I have not written a thing for this blog since arriving in India apart from the Incredible India article, and not because I have not been inspired… quite the opposite actually! I have not written this time because I have been allowing myself to just be in the flow as my natural state of being. Not focused on documenting the experiences as they come, and rather just being the observer without an agenda. And this has quite possibly been the most powerful experience I have had yet.

Being in the moment is not always easy, this I understand very well. Being in the flow of each moment requires complete absence of thoughts from the past, and the future, and just letting things occur organically as they do. No attachments, no judgements. And from my journey, I have realized that for me, it took some time to find this sweet spot. And it’s been taking even more time to be able to hold it…

Sri Mooji Satsang

I just finished my visit to Rishikesh India, with the purpose of attending a Satsang delivered quite calmly and comically by Sri Mooji  (click here to see some of the Satsang on youtube)and all of the 1000 plus souls in attendance. The take away message I received? That in being the observer (the witness) of your life, your thoughts, habits, and actions, allows you to arrive at the truth of your existence, which is actually pretty simplsri mooji, satsang in india, meetings in truth, e in the end. You are light. You are love. You are also that which cannot be named. And when this understanding hits, it’s pure joy.

I watched on as hundreds of people sat in their experiences while Mooji delivered the goods. Several people came to the microphone throughout the days with many questions, and I noticed my tolerance for what I perceived to be ignorance in some people starting to wain. It was in this moment that I also realized that I was making judgements and not allowing my fellow human beings the space they needed to get themselves sorted out, along with corrupting my own space. And then Mooji said something that completely snapped me out of this.. he said that it is important to make and also hold space for others who are in their own process, at their own level of experience, so that they too can grow from their journey into being.

It seemed as if he was speaking directly to me in this moment and the words resonated deep within my heart. I felt as if some new level of understanding shifted within, and I was again shown something about myself that dams up the flow inside, and also affects others. After this realization, I left the ashram feeling lighter and with something new to observe in my self, along with some goose bumps from the super high positive vibes that were felt there.

Life is effortless when you live in the flow…

As humans we like to be entertained, distracted, and are full of thoughts and ambitions. And there is nothing wrong with that, until we find ourselves waking up one day like “What happened? This is not my beautiful life, this is not my beautiful house!” And then what?

It reminds me of the old saying where a boy asks his father how much he makes in an hour – just so he can save up enough paper money to buy some of his fathers time before it passes by. When we busy ourselves so much with chasing material  things, and forget about actually enjoying the present moment and all it’s surprises, the magic of life too can pass us by.

We are timeless, but in this human form we are here to remember something before we trap ourselves in routine, thoughts and distractions that take us further away from the truth. I personally believe that we are here to remember the magic within and to share that light with others, and that this is an experiential process that when allowed can transform your entire existence.

Have you ever had an experience where something just clicked in you that brought you to a new level of love and understanding? I would love to hear from you if you would be willing to kindly share your experience in the comments section below!

Tire Climbing Wall

Climbing has always been something I loved to do when I was younger, so when I was invited to help build a school play yard out of recycled materials in Goa, India, a climbing wall was a must. Here I will show you just how easy it is to turn old tires into a fun climbing wall for kids of all ages!

Things needed:

*16 Worn Tires (we used 12 medium, and 4 large, but I imagine that this structure can be made with all of one size as well)
*A razor sharp exacto knife
*3 kilos worth of rope for tying the tires and supports together
*3 Hooked shaped pieces of rebar for attaching the bottom of the   structure to the ground

how to cut tires1- Use the knife to cut the outer walls of the tire off (essentially removing the middle piece of tread). This takes some time depending on your knife and strength, and I recommend using padded gloves as the impact from the knife can irritate your hand after completing a few tires.


tire climbing wall, how to, DIY, climbing structure, play ground ideas

2- We then laid the tires out on a tarp and spray painted them with various colors. They were given a second coat and when dry, we turned them all over to prepare to tie them together.tire climbing wall, climbing structure, play ground ideas, tying tires together, how to cut tires

3- Attach the tires with the rope (close to where you will hang it if possible as the structure can be quite heavy depending on the size). We wrapped the rope around roughly 6-8 times and knotted it on what would be the back side of the structure.


tire cimbing structure, climbing wall, recycle tires, play ground ideas, 4- Hang it! We chose to hang ours between two trees using one piece of strong bamboo and loads of rope to tie the bamboo to the trees. We then added a second piece of bamboo for continued support and tied this to the first and also the top tier of tires to both bamboo pieces.


5- The final step was to secure the bottom rung of tires to the ground using 3 long pieces of candy caned shaped rebar andtire climbing structure, play ground ideas, recycle tires, climbing wall, rope. Just wrap the rope around the bottom tires and smash the hook shaped rebar into the ground making sure your hook grabs the rope attached to the bottom tires.




Now it’s time to invite the neighborhood! Our structure can support 8 little bodies at the same time (8-10 year olds) and possibly more…

I hope you have enjoyed this DIY Tire Climbing Wall article and video! Do subscribe for more!

I must Believe!

The taste in my mouth was dry and sour, and a powerful surge of energy was building up inside of my chest. Now was the time I thought as I silently scratched my name across the papers that would make my divorce final. Coming back from Central America after a four month backpack trek, I was feeling rejuvenated and alive. I was feeling free. The amount of personal power gained from the experience, I hoped, would carry me through this process. Just then a lump began to form in the back of my throat when I looked at my soon to be ex husband sitting next to me waiting for his turn to sign. We exchanged glances that appeared to read, “I have always cared deeply for you, but we both know our journey together has ended” followed by defeated smiles to try and keep the sadness at bay.

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