The Game Changer

samsara, nirvana, travel, van life, diy,

The Game Changer  

We met online. I was searching for her on the typical sites for months, but coming across the usual “out of my league and secret desires” types if you know what I mean. But then, I found the one. The one who would end up testing my faith, my perseverance, my temper, my determination to make it work, and most of all my willingness to stop at nothing to follow my dreams and intuition that had led me to her to begin with. I knew that we were meant for one another right from the start even before we met in person. Her name was Samsara. 


Her pale skin with the fading grey lines that showed her age. The sad, tear soaked darkness that permeated every corner inside of her. The neglect and disregard she has been subject to… all made her more appealing to me somehow. She was just what I needed, and I was just what she needed.

We didn’t actually meet in person until a couple of months later, after the summer was over and fall had begun to creep in with its majestic ways of making everything look so different in such a short time. I remember it was very humid and I felt like I was breathing in the heat from a steaming shower as I stepped out of the airport terminal in Florida. This would be where our future began. In the dirty south, surrounded by white sand beaches, beautiful friends and family, and trash cans. Lots and lots of trash cans.

You see, Samsara and I needed to purge together, to expel and recreate, this is one of the reasons why we met. This is why we are here now. We began seeing each other right away, everyday, beginning at 10am, and ending at 4pm, like clockwork. She couldn’t refuse because well, she was so turned off she couldn’t budge. Just sat there obediently as I ran my fingers over every bit of her. I promised that she would learn to like it. It would just take some time.

We got off to a slow start, spending some hours getting to know each other more intimately. I searched around and began pulling her apart bit by bit, exposing her sensitive spots and getting to the core of who she was. All the while wondering who we would become together, how we would serve each other.

The therapy and treatments, (that’s what I like to call them although I am no doctor) have lasted for almost nine weeks now and I must admit I feel that it has been effective. She has a brighter outlook. She purrs when I turn her on now, and is literally glowing inside. I invited some friends to come and play with her once things began to turn around and the trash cans were gone. Each of her new guests approached her with respect, and admiration for who she was becoming, and decorated her with small gifts in one way or another. She seemed to like the extra attention.

I feel that soon we will be ready to meet many more guests along the Americas as we travel together. Enjoying meals, sunsets, mountains, and forests along the way. Perhaps we will see the desert as well and camp for some time there. I am open to where she can take me, and looking forward to sharing new experiences with her.

I have found a new home for the now. It is neither here nor there, as it can be almost anywhere. I dream of the journey as if its in the future, although I know that it is already partly in the past, perhaps its a lesson on presence, and making the now last.

If you have been wondering where I have been, now you know. For the past three months I have been in love with a machine. Her name is Samsara.

samsara, nirvana, van life, RV, class B, Ford Van,

Saṃsāra is a Sanskrit word that means “wandering” or “world”, with the connotation of cyclic, circuitous change. It also refers to the theory of rebirth and “cyclicality of all life, matter, existence”, a fundamental assumption of all Indian religions. Saṃsāra is sometimes referred to with terms or phrases such as transmigration, karmic cycle, reincarnation, and “cycle of aimless drifting, wandering or mundane existence.


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